When I joke they take it seriously. When I am serious they take it as a joke.

If Your age was to be determined by the 2 last digits of your phone number, how old wil you be?

i haven’t lost my brain it just couldn’t handle my ideas so it left

I’m a Teenager: I have a messy room. I spend most of my time online. I have private shit on my phone. I go to bed late do whatever the fuck I like and I’m crazy about 1 person.

Being in a relationship is a full-time job; don’t apply if you’re not ready to commit.

I’m shy at first, but once I’m comfortable with you get ready for some crazy shit.

People never remember the million times you help them, only the one time you don’t.

Just finished deleting some friends on Facebook, if you can read this then you got lucky.

The awkward moment when you enter class late and everyone stares at you.

People who wait 4 hours to reply to a text with “lol” should be shooted 🙂

Arrange marriage these days is the agreement between two broken hearts.

When you see my head tilt to the side and I start to stare into space. I would run. The voices inside my head just gave me a brilliant idea. Be very afraid!

Aging is inevitable, Maturing is optional.

Do you ever look at your friends and think “why the hell aren’t we comedians?”

When I am home alone, every noise I hear is a serial killer.

Excuse me, do you mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember your face for my dreams.

A lot of men & women would rather stay single b’coz they are tired of giving their everything and ending up with nothing.

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.

All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.

I have a problem. My proble is love and ……… My solution is you.

The best feeling in the world is when someone you hate tells a joke and nobody laughs 🙂

Some people should try thinking, it’s not illegal yet

Freedom of speech is lost when you get into a relationship and she is beautiful.

Don’t you sometimes just wish something would happen? Good or Bad; just for the sake of something happening.

The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity.

I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my laundry basket.

You want to come into my life, the door is open. You want to leave my life, the door is open. Just one request; don’t stand in front of the door, you are blocking traffic 🙂

I don’t care if you think I’m crazy. Life is too short to be normal.

My phone is like my lover. Its the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you. Make your appointment today.

If Harry Potter is so magical then why can’t he fix his eye sight?

Don’t think too much, you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.

Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!

If there’s one thing I hate the most, its seeing bad things happen to good people.

That awkward moment when you are watching a movie with your dad and a love scene comes on.

I hate how chocolates immediately melt on my fingers. I mean, am i that hot?

If you were to die tomorrow would you be happy with today?

I am 99.9% sure he doesnt like me. But its the 00.1% that keeps me going.

Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee, you can’t stop me! I broke my off switch..

Your lips look so lonely. Would they like to meet mine?

Why does it always rain the hardest on those who deserve the sun?

If you were a tear in my eyes, I would not cry for the fear of losing you.

At least I can still smoke in my car.

Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary? 🙂

I know I’m crazy. Don’t ruin my moment.

Sometimes I wonder how many miles I have scrolled my mouse wheel.

Am i the only one who gets this random urge to help old ladies half way across the street and leave them there?

I smile and act like nothing is wrong, its called putting shit aside and being strong.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you have to buy two separate books.

A girl jogging in the park helps atleast 5 boys to be fit and in shape.

Babies are so lucky. They can sleep all day still everyone loves them.

I’m not crazy, I’m just special.

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

Why do I fall in love with people who are all ready taken or have feelings for someone else?

Nothing in the world is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.

My back is not a voicemail, say it to my face.

Love never dies…only the lover changes. 😛