A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth – and endures all the rest.

You’ll never loose women by chasing money. But you’ll loose money by chasing women.

Yes Mom, every girl I know is my girlfriend. -_-

Want to surprise your girlfriend? Introduce her to your wife.

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: If they can’t get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.

Don’t call yourself a man, when you have no quality’s of one.

Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it’s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

All men are idiots…and I married their king.

The only way a guy should hurt a girl; is from hugging her too tight.

If a guy treats a girl like a princess, then brought his queen…

Girls claiming that they’re “Barbies” ….. they look more like Barbarians.

If Twitter was invented by a woman, the character limit would be 10,000 letters.

There is no such thing as a good girl. A good girl is just a bad girl who hasn’t been caught yet.

Ain’t no mountain high enough to keep me from getting to you. Unless it’s an actual mountain, then forget it.

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

The secret of being a great man = having a great woman who supports you all the time!

In our family we don’t divorce our men, we bury them.

A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.

The guy never does anything simply so in the face of the girl who is pleasant to it.

If a woman asks you a question, it’s better to tell her the truth, chances are she’s asking you because she already knows the answer.

Man says about his wife: We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops 🙂

I love men, even though they’re lying, cheating scumbags.

If men are so competent, how come you always see signs reading DANGER – MEN WORKING ?

Girls are most talented creature on earth. Because they listen half understand quarter but explain it double.

Men are like bank accounts, without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.

Few women admit their age, few men act it.

Dear boys, what is the point of giving a fake hope? Sincerely, Girls

Guys, they as onions – having removed a peel, it is possible to burst out crying from disappointment.

I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

Real men stay faithful… They don’t have time to look for other women because they’re too busy looking for new ways to love their own.

Having Wife is a part of living But having Girlfriend along with Wife is a art of living.

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men s they’re a bunch of liars.

Life is like Mario Brothers, you have to slay a lot of dragons before you meet your princess.

It’s funny how girls RUN from the guy who try to make them happy, and FIGHT for the ones that make them cry.

To distinguish seriously adjusted guy it is possible, when to it will allow to touch the girl in any places, and it will take it only for hands.

Dear boyfriend, your wallet was getting fat so I thought I’d take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, Girlfriend.

A real man never stops trying to show a girl he cares about her, even if he already has her.

Men are like roses, watch out for all of the pricks.

Boy- *Texts sweet stuff.* Girl- You’re so sweet! Girl- *Texts sweet stuff.* Boy- Ok.

Guys, they as teeth – when they start to ache, live with them is simply intolerable.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

To ex boyfriend, No, I’m not jealous, I know what she’s getting.

A boy’s eye is faster than Google when searching for a girl in a crowd.

Good men do the woman happy, and bad – strong.

If a guy tells you that you drive him crazy, you are either doing something really right or terribly wrong.

Nobody ever remembers that boys get heartbroken too.

I have written your name on a cigarette, have lighted it to smoke and forget you, but… I have understood, that I breathe you…

I Like to study …. arithmetic, NO …. world history, NO …. chemistry, NO …. GIRLS, YES!!!

Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.

Guys, they as milk… When about them you forget – they escape…

She is a player, but it’s my game. 😉

You still look cute, even now that I’m in love with you no more.

90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.

If a girl is shopping she’s trendy, if boy is shopping he’s wasting money.

It may be no accident that the word “menopause” invites the association “pause from men”.

The most common misconception among men: “She is not going anywhere.

Guys, as a tram, at each stop the new passenger.

A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water.

Does time fly when you’re having sex or was it really just one minute?